Choosing a Cremation Urn for a Loved One: A Calm Guide

Choosing a cremation urn for someone you love is a quiet, tender task, and it often comes at a time when everything else feels heavy. This guide is here to make it a little lighter. It walks through size, materials, styles and personalization, so you can choose a cremation urn with a little more calm and confidence.

There is no rush

It can feel as though every decision has to be made at once. Choosing an urn usually does not. The funeral home or crematory can typically return ashes in a temporary container, and they can remain there until your family is ready. If a service, a burial or a gathering is planned, it may help to ask the funeral home when the urn will be needed. Otherwise, take the time you need. It is perfectly fine to talk it over with family, look at a few options, and come back to it later.

Sizing: 1 cubic inch per pound

Urns for human ashes are measured in cubic inches. A widely used guideline is 1 cubic inch per pound of body weight before cremation. Someone who weighed 170 pounds, for example, would usually need an urn that holds at least 170 cubic inches.

This is a planning guideline rather than an exact measure. Height, bone density and the cremation process can all change the final volume. If you are between sizes, the larger urn gives a little extra room, and an urn can never be too large. Standard adult urns are usually about 200 cubic inches. If you would like to be certain, your funeral home or crematory can tell you the actual volume.

Our Urn Size Guide explains this in more detail and lists the capacity of many of our urns.

Adult, companion and keepsake sizes

Adult urns

An adult urn is made to hold the ashes of one person. Our cremation urns collection gathers our full-size urns, including companion urns, in one place, in a range of sizes, materials and designs.

Companion urns for two

A companion urn is designed and sized to hold the ashes of two people together, often a couple who wished to rest side by side. Companion urns are noticeably larger than single urns, and each listing shows its capacity. Only a companion urn is meant to hold two people's ashes, so if that is your family's wish, please begin with this collection.

Keepsake urns

Keepsake urns are small urns that hold just a portion of ashes. Many families choose a few keepsakes so that children, siblings or close friends can each keep a loved one near, sometimes alongside a full-size urn.

Materials and where each suits

Hardwood

Wood brings warmth and natural grain, and many families feel it belongs at home, on a mantel or a bookshelf. Many of our hardwood urns are handcrafted in the USA, and across our collection you will find walnut, maple, oak, cherry and natural cherry, mahogany, rosewood, hand-carved Indian rosewood (sheesham), aromatic cedar and solid alder. Because every piece of wood is different, the grain and color vary a little from urn to urn, which makes each one its own.

Cultured granite

Our cultured granite urns are strong and resilient, with a polished finish and a choice of colors. They can be personalized with memorial text, emblems or a photograph. Their listings note that the cultured granite construction is suitable for direct burial, which makes them a thoughtful choice if burial is planned.

Home, niche or burial

• At home: almost any urn can rest at home. Wood is a popular choice for display.
• In a columbarium niche: niche spaces have set dimensions, so measure or ask the cemetery for the niche size before you choose. Some of our niche urns are slim enough that two single urns can sit side by side in a standard niche.
• Burial: cemeteries often have their own requirements, such as an outer burial vault. It is worth asking the cemetery before you decide, and a cultured granite urn noted as suitable for direct burial may be a good fit.

Styles that reflect a life

An urn can say something about the person it honors. Here are some of the styles families choose most often.

Faith

For many families, faith is a source of comfort. Our faith designs include crosses, doves, Celtic crosses and verses such as Psalm 23 and the Lord's Prayer, some also available in Spanish.

Military and veteran

Our military and veteran urns honor those who served, with designs such as branch medallions and the American flag.

Floral

Our floral cremation urns feature roses, lilies, cherry blossoms, hibiscus, dogwood and more, often chosen for someone who loved their garden.

Nature and scenic

Mountain lakes, lighthouses, quiet beaches and wildlife can bring to mind a favorite place or a lifelong pastime. Many of our scenic designs are 3D inlay urns.

Book urns

Book urns are shaped like a closed book, a gentle way to suggest a life story. Many carry a cross, doves or a well-loved verse, and there is a companion book urn for two.

3D inlay

On our 3D inlay urns, the scene you choose is layered in hardwood and raised in 3D on the urn's wood-art panel. You can choose a scene category on the product page, then pick the scene that best reflects your loved one.

Personalization

A name, dates or a few words can make an urn feel truly personal. Our engraved hardwood urns are laser engraved directly into the wood, in your choice of Block, Script or Block Italics lettering, and you choose where the engraving is placed. The engraving has a charcoal-like tone on most woods. Rosewood is the exception, where the engraving receives a gold fill.

We engrave your words exactly as you enter them, and our engraver checks the layout and spacing before beginning. If you would like to see it first, you can add an emailed proof for $10, usually sent the same day; each revision after that is $10. Engraving adds about one day to the time it takes to prepare your urn. If you are working toward a particular date, please let us know, and we will do our best to help.

Some ideas families often choose:

• A full name with the years of birth and passing
• A short phrase, such as "Forever loved" or "Together again"
• A line from a favorite verse, poem or song

Placing and sealing an urn

Many families ask the funeral home or crematory to transfer the ashes into the urn for them, and it is perfectly fine to ask. If you choose to do it yourself, a quiet table and a little time make it easier. Ashes usually arrive in a sealed bag inside the temporary container, and that bag can often be placed inside the urn as it is.

Whether to seal an urn is a personal choice. Some families prefer to seal it, particularly before burial or placement in a niche. Others leave it unsealed. If you are unsure, the funeral home or cemetery can tell you whether sealing is required.

A few gentle questions to guide you

• Will the urn hold one person, two, or a small portion to share?
• Where will it rest: at home, in a niche, or in the ground?
• Which material feels right: warm wood or polished granite?
• Is there a design that reflects their faith, service, passions or favorite place?
• What words would you like engraved?

You are not alone

Grief has no timeline, and every family's path is different. If you would like support, our Grief Resources page lists organizations that can help, including support for children and families.

If you have any questions about size, materials or engraving, please write to us at shop@memorial-urns.com. We are glad to help you choose a memorial that honors the person you love.